When Cancer’s "Cronies" Persist, Here’s How One Patient Copes
People talk a lot about the diagnosis and the treatment, but not enough about what comes after — how hard recovery and survivorship really are.
In this Q&A, collected through our story portal, Zackary reflects on navigating non-Hodgkin lymphoma as a young adult, including coping with feelings of fear, anxiety, and isolation.
What is your experience with cancer?
I’ve been living with cancer on and off for nearly 20 years. I was first diagnosed with non-Hodgkin lymphoma at 21 years old. At a time when I should’ve been building my life, I was thrown into a fight I never saw coming. After chemo and months of treatment, I went into remission — but nine years later, it came back. I went through another round of chemo and more hospital stays, and again I made it through. But cancer wasn’t done with me yet.
A third diagnosis came in my late 30s. This time it was more aggressive and harder to treat. I went through everything — chemo, a stem cell transplant, hundreds of infusions and scans, and eventually CAR T cell therapy. It tested everything: my body, my hope, my mental health. There were moments I wanted to give up. But I didn’t — because I thought about my family. When I couldn’t fight for myself, I fought for them.
Now, at 40, I’m in remission again. But survivorship isn’t easy. The aftermath — the fatigue, anxiety, pain — it’s still part of my life. Cancer’s “cronies,” as I call them, are still kicking my ass. But I’m here. I’m living life. And I’m not taking any of it for granted.
Did you receive any support from the Cancer Support Community during your experience?
One of the biggest challenges of cancer is how isolating it can feel. You're surrounded by people — nurses, doctors, family — but still feel alone in what you're going through. That’s where emotional support really made a difference for me.
While I didn’t always know how to ask for help, connecting with others through online communities and reading stories from survivors reminded me that I wasn’t the only one in this fight. Platforms like *MyLifeLine helped me feel seen and understood in a way that even close family sometimes couldn’t. Just knowing others had been through it — survived, struggled, healed, and still had hope — gave me something to hold onto.
Even when I didn’t post much, just reading other people’s stories or joining a support group call helped me feel less alone. These kinds of support systems don’t just help patients — they help people.
*Editor's note: MyLifeLine is CSC's free online community for people impacted by cancer. Start connecting to your online community.
You're surrounded by people — nurses, doctors, family — but still feel alone in what you're going through.
Is there anything you wish you had known before your experience began?
I wish I had known that surviving cancer doesn’t mean life goes back to “normal.” People talk a lot about the diagnosis and the treatment, but not enough about what comes after — how hard recovery and survivorship really are. I thought remission would mean the end of the battle, but in many ways, it was just the beginning of a different kind of fight.
I also wish I had known how much mental and emotional strength I’d need. The physical part is brutal, but the emotional toll — the fear, the trauma, the anxiety about every scan or symptom — is something no one really prepares you for. I wish someone had told me that it’s okay to not be okay, and that asking for help isn’t weakness — it’s survival too.
Most of all, I wish I had known that I wasn’t alone. That others had walked this path before me and that I could lean on them without shame or guilt.
What was your biggest stressor, and how did you manage it?
My biggest stressor was the unknown — never knowing if the treatment would work, if the cancer would come back, or how much more my body and mind could take. Every scan, every new symptom, every call from the doctor brought a wave of anxiety that felt impossible to control. And after surviving cancer more than once, the fear doesn’t just go away — it follows you.
What helped me manage it was reminding myself of what I could control: my mindset, my fight, and the people I kept around me. I leaned hard on my family, especially in the moments when I felt like I couldn’t do it anymore. They gave me strength even when I felt empty. I also learned to give myself grace. Some days I was strong, and some days I wasn’t — and that had to be okay.
I don’t have all the answers, but I’ve learned how to sit with fear without letting it run my life. That’s still a work in progress, but it’s progress.
I wish I had known that I wasn’t alone. That others had walked this path before me and that I could lean on them without shame or guilt.
Have there been positive changes in your life after your cancer diagnosis?
Yes — though it took me a long time to see them.
Cancer stripped everything down. It forced me to look at what really matters, and in doing that, it gave me a kind of clarity I don’t think I would’ve had otherwise. I learned to stop waiting for “someday” and start living now. I don’t take time, people, or moments for granted anymore. I appreciate the little things — quiet mornings, real conversations, laughter that comes from deep in your gut.
It also made me stronger in ways I never expected. I found a level of fight in myself I didn’t know existed. I learned how to keep going even when everything hurt — physically, emotionally, mentally. That strength has carried me through more than just cancer.
And maybe most importantly, it taught me compassion. You never know what someone’s carrying. I try to be gentler — with others, and with myself. That’s a gift cancer gave me, even if it came wrapped in pain.
Did You Know?
Cancer Support Community has over 200 locations, with professionally led programs that include support groups, wellness classes, and educational workshops — all offered at no cost to anyone impacted by a cancer diagnosis.
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