Slowing Down Is Not Failure

By Siobhan Shaw
 

I live with metastatic breast cancer, a lifelong diagnosis that is treatable but not curable. One of the hardest realities to understand and explain is that there is no finish line with MBC. Treatment for MBC is ongoing, and recurrence is always a possibility. 

I was diagnosed in June 2025. I am currently in active treatment. I am not on IV chemotherapy, which means I don’t fit the typical image many people have of what someone with advanced cancer “should” look like. I still have my hair, though it is thinning. Most days, I don’t look sick, even when I am in constant pain or dealing with extreme fatigue. 

My treatment allows me periods of functionality, but my energy is becoming more and more limited and short-term. As treatment continues, my body is processing drugs designed to kill cancer cells while trying to preserve the rest of me. I experience pain, lung discomfort from fluid shifts, and deep exhaustion that is not visible to others. 

Right now, I am learning to live within these realities, continuing treatment while redefining what a full life looks like with metastatic cancer.

What I wish I had known before my diagnosis was how much invisible labor living with cancer requires. That pain, exhaustion, and side effects don’t always announce themselves outwardly, but they still shape every decision. 

I also wish I had known how often people would expect optimism to function as medicine. No amount of “positive attitude” stops constant pain or replaces the need for rest, boundaries, and compassion. 

Most of all, I wish I had known earlier that it was okay to move at my own pace and stop trying to meet expectations that ignore the realities of lifelong treatment. My biggest stressor has been external pressure, especially the expectation to perform wellness, meet deadlines, or reassure others when my body is under strain. 

I manage this stressor by setting firmer boundaries and learning to work at my pace, not anyone else’s. It took time to understand that slowing down is not failure. It is necessary. Advocacy, storytelling, and honest communication have helped me protect my energy and mental health.

Looking Back & Looking Forward

Cancer clarified what matters. It reshaped my relationship with time, productivity, and purpose. I stopped apologizing for listening to my body.  

Listening to my body and slowing down doesn’t mean I can’t continue doing the meaningful work I love. Several years before my diagnosis, I cofounded a nonprofit organization (Growing To Give) that develops projects and partnerships to free people from hunger across the country and around the world. The organization has expanded to include an incredible team of volunteers driven by their passion to end hunger. 

Today I still make Growing To Give a priority, and I cannot wait to get back to growing lots of fresh, nutritious food for people living with food insecurity.  

After my diagnosis, I also founded a podcast from the ground up, using advocacy and storytelling to create awareness, connection, and support within the cancer community. The podcast brings together survivors, caregivers, medical professionals, and compassionate voices to share their experiences and insights. Building something meaningful in the midst of illness reminded me that agency and contribution do not disappear with a diagnosis.  

Living with metastatic cancer means holding complexity. I can be grateful and exhausted. Hopeful and honest. Strong and deeply tired. None of these cancel each other out. 

For anyone who doesn’t “look sick” but is quietly struggling, your experience is real. You don’t owe anyone a performance of wellness. You are allowed to live fully, honestly, and on your own terms. 

Cancer may be part of my story, but it is not the author. I am still writing.

About the Author

Siobhan Shaw is the co-founder of Growing To Give (G2G), a nonprofit dedicated to addressing food insecurity through sustainable growing initiatives and community partnerships. She is a garden writer contributing to national publications. She is also the founder of The Gardening Network (TGN), a platform focused on practical, accessible gardening knowledge, and the creator of Cancer Bites, a podcast and community centered on real, ground-level conversations about the cancer experience. Through advocacy, storytelling, and collaboration, Siobhan works to connect people, share resources, and build meaningful impact — even while navigating life with metastatic breast cancer.