It’s Okay To Not Be Okay

When you're facing the ups and downs of your cancer experience, we're here for you.
 

This blog is part of our Spotlight on Mental Health series examining critical mental health concerns that affect cancer patients, survivors, caregivers, and providers.   

Mental health encompasses our emotional, psychological, and social well-being, affecting how we think, feel, and act. While most people experience normal everyday ups and downs, 1 in 5 adults in the United States will experience a mental health condition such as anxiety or depression.

Hearing the news that you or someone you love has cancer is a devastating moment. Those everyday ups and downs you once had may now be complicated by the practical realities of navigating serious illness, communicating updates to loved ones, and managing feelings around planning for the future.

All the while, lives don’t stop moving — bills still need paying — and it can be all too easy to put our emotions to the side to deal with later. An already existing mental health condition could be worsened by the new uncertainty of cancer, especially if formal support is limited.

In the midst of all this, it’s important to recognize that reactions like fear and overwhelm are not only common — they are a natural response to an extraordinarily difficult experience.

Anna's Story

When her wife was diagnosed with leukemia, Anna felt overwhelmed, desperate, and alone. 

"It felt like there was nobody who I could talk to who truly understood what we were going through," Anna shares.

Not knowing where to turn, Anna adds, "I called the Cancer Support Helpline for the first time in a moment of desperation shortly after my wife's diagnosis."

Anna was connected with one of our Cancer Support Helpline's experienced navigators. "And she was so wonderful," shares Anna. 

"I went from crying alone on a park bench to feeling reassured and equipped with a list of tips and resources after just one conversation. I am so grateful to Cancer Support Community for offering the Helpline…and for [the] kindness and the wealth of resources shared."
 

How Our Helpline Can Provide Support

Just as Anna did, you may feel overwhelmed and alone after a cancer diagnosis, be it a personal diagnosis or a loved one's. 

Our Cancer Support Helpline staff can offer emotional support and share personalized resources that may be helpful in coping with difficult emotions that can come with cancer. Staffed with community navigators and resource specialists, our Helpline is here to support you by phone at CSC-867-5309 and online via our live web chat service.

A few ways we can help include:

• Linking you with one of our CSC or Gilda's Club locations across the country that provide free in-person support programs to anyone impacted by cancer
• Helping you find a therapist in your community or online if you prefer
• Finding a peer mentor, matching you with someone who has been through a similar experience
• Offering support and guidance around talking openly with your oncology team, primary care doctor, or any of your other care providers about how you are feeling

Tips to Cope With Stressors

When cancer arises, it may occur alongside other life stressors that are common for many of us. People share stories with our Cancer Support Helpline navigators that include other aspects of their lives that appeared long before cancer showed up. Examples include:

• Being caregivers themselves to aging parents or young children
• Experiencing loss in the form of divorce or with the passing of a loved one
• Managing life transitions such as with job changes or family planning
• Navigating the highs and lows of being an emerging adult

These additional stressors can have an impact on our mood and coping abilities. It can be helpful to know some coping strategies that can be used in moments when you are not feeling okay. 

Asking yourself, “How can I improve the moment?” can help to pause and redirect your focus on something that can help reduce the distress temporarily. This may include spending time in nature by going for a walk, taking a shower or bath, calling a loved one, writing, or listening to music.

Mindfulness is the practice of noticing the present moment or an emotion for exactly what it is, without feeling the need to change how we are feeling or push the emotion away. Developing a regular mindfulness practice can be beneficial to understanding how to balance intense feelings. Apps like Insight Timer or Calm are great resources to get started.

Or try our virtual, guided yoga and meditation videos, designed with the needs of people impacted by cancer in mind.

It is also important to know when you may need to turn to formal support. Some signs that it may be time to talk with someone include:

• Feeling unable to control your thoughts or worries
• Sleeping less or more than you are accustomed to
• Eating more than usual or not having an appetite at all
• Finding it difficult to complete basic daily tasks
• No longer enjoying activities you once enjoyed

Your cancer center may have oncology social workers available to offer practical and emotional support. You can ask your oncologist or nurse navigator for a referral to the oncology social worker to be connected. Your primary care provider is another great resource for referrals to community mental health providers.

Remember, it’s okay to not be okay sometimes. We are here to support you through the ups and downs of your cancer experience.

NOTE: If you or someone you know is thinking about suicide, experiencing depression, or feeling a loss of hope, call or text the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988, or chat with a counselor from the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. They provide 24/7, free, and confidential support to people in suicidal crisis or emotional distress anywhere in the United States. 

Editor's Note: This blog was originally published in 2024 and features written contributions by Brittany Fols, MSW, LCSW, a Cancer Support Helpline navigator, and Lauren Burling, MSS, LCSW.