Facing Cancer, Finding Strength: Jeffrey’s Story

In this post, collected through our story portal, Jeffrey opens up about the tough emotions his diagnosis unleashed and how he reframed the life-changing news.

Jeffrey's Story

My cancer journey started in July 2021. I had been experiencing extreme back pain and was sent to a physiatry clinic for an MRI scan to see what could be causing it. A few days later, while going over the findings with the clinician, I was told there was bad news.

Of course, a million thoughts go through your mind when you hear that. I learned that I had a compression fracture of my L4 and L5 vertebrae. Additionally, they found spots on my bones indicating cancer.  

"This couldn't be true,” I thought. “I'm as healthy as a horse.”

I was referred to an oncology clinic, where I had a blood test and my doctor looked over my MRI. Reality was about to hit me full force. My doctor confirmed that I had multiple myeloma, a blood cancer for which there is no cure.*

The MM had grown 2 lesions on my spine, one on my neck and one on my lower back. It was the lesion in my vertebrae that collapsed, resulting in the compression fracture that had kept me in bed for the better part of 5 months.

Upon hearing the diagnosis, I remember feeling as though I was outside my body, sitting next to myself and thinking, "This only happens in the movies. He must be talking about someone else.”

So many thoughts ran through my mind — about dying, denial, and how this happened to me. The rest of the appointment was a bit of a blur. I was told I had 5 to 7 years left without doing anything. With therapy and a bone marrow transplant, I would gain another 10 years to my life.

For the next few days, I was in a bad space — one minute mad at the world for getting this disease, the next minute feeling sorry for myself, wondering what I did to deserve this. I came to realize that my wife and daughter were scared enough at the thought of losing their husband and father. If I was constantly in a bad mood, it would make things worse.  

Making Peace, Starting Treatment & Finding Support

Although cancer is a singular journey for the patient, it affects your family and your friends too. All my negative thoughts were not going to cure my cancer. So, I resolved to make peace with my disease and change my attitude, not only to save my sanity, but also my soul.

Luckily for me, I have a large support network within my family. I began to talk to them about this new reality. 

You don't realize how your family agonizes with you and lives your ups and downs. By being positive, I’ve noticed my family and friends are in a better frame of mind. They are more at peace with our situation. My brothers and sisters check in on me regularly. Being able to talk to them has been a total blessing.

Cancer Support Community’s resources have been a source of support throughout my cancer experience, too. Since my cancer journey started, CSC has been sending me stories and news, and I read all of them. This information has been very helpful to me. I read about how fellow patients deal with their situations, I gain information about my cancer and advances in therapy, and mostly I'm reminded that CSC's help is only a phone call away.

As part of my initial treatment plan, I underwent weekly blood tests, [cancer therapy] injections and infusions, radiation therapy, and — in July 2022 — a bone marrow transplant. The radiation killed the lesions. I slowly recovered from the compression fracture and finally could get on my feet again.

Today, I’m better able to deal with my condition. I continue with therapy, including a maintenance dose of an immunomodulatory drug called Lenalidomide. I go to my clinic every 3 months for a check-up. The labs have shown no detectable MM protein in my blood. This is all great news. 

I know my cancer can return. I choose not to think that far ahead. Instead, I focus on the things I need to do to keep myself in the best condition possible. I eat healthy, walk regularly, find joy in my life, and keep a good attitude. I take more time to enjoy the people and things that matter most to me. I don't spend time on small irritations that once angered me. I have more patience in my life. Most importantly, I tell the people I love that I love them, advice I learned from my father.

I have found that being honest with myself and accepting my condition has brought inner peace. It won't cure my cancer. But it keeps me fighting against giving in to this disease. It has taken so much from me. I hate to lose anything more to this cancer.

*Editor's Note: Until a cure is found, multiple myeloma is managed like a chronic illness. There are many treatments available to manage it. Most people will need treatment on and off throughout their life. New research in clinical trials is looking for a cure.